Wednesday, October 24, 2012


Jadi, blog ini gue tulis pas gue denger kata-kata dari lagu 'Sanctuary' nya Paradise Fears. Disitu ada lirik yang bunyinya 'What was left is your voice, you've got no choice than to raise it' yang artinya 'Yang tersisa tinggal suara lo, dan lo gapunya pilihan lain selain ngutarain nya'

Banyak yang bilang masa - masa SMA itu masa yang paling indah.. Tadinya gue setuju sama kata-kata itu. Tapi setelah ngeliat apa yang hari ini gue liat... Uhm, pikir berulang kali deh tentang kebenaran kalimat itu. 

SMA menurut gue itu adalah tiga tahun yang isinya belajar, ngerjain PR, ulangan, nyontek, seneng-seneng sama temen. Saat lo belajar tentang segala macem hal yang ngga bisa dipelajarin hanya dalam waktu satu jam. Lulus SMA, kita semua pasti udah milih jalur masing-masing ya.. Kuliah pasti salah satu pilihan yang sering diambil untuk anak-anak SMA, tapi nggak sedikit yang milih kerja, dan pastinya banyak banget dong ya yang milih kuliah sambil kerja. Intinya, we move on from high school. Kita lepasin masa SMA kita. Kita lanjut hidup.

The jocks, the popular, the nerd, the class clown... Itu semua kenangan indah dari SMA yang kita tinggalin. Ninggalin bukan berarti ngelupain, cuma berarti kita lanjut hidup. Kita lepas dari segala macem atribut yang berbau ke-SMA-an nya. Tapi sayang, nggak semua orang begini. Enggak semua orang (kalo kata anak-anak gaul jaman sekarang) 'move on'. Mereka masih stuck di kenangan fana mereka tentang SMA.

Hari ini gue ngeliat satu hal yang bikin ngenes. Saat temen-temen cowok gue, di tahun akhir mereka jadi anak SMA masih juga jadi korban bully. Kok bisa? Yap, mereka di bully sama mereka para graduate yang masih belum bisa move on. Disitu, gue merasa semua omongan tentang 'against bullying' itu bullshit.

Bisa bayangin kan, saat siswa SMA di bully sama alumni yang udah lama lulus. Gue nggak habis pikir. Mereka itu orang-orang yang jauh lebih tua dari gue, jelas, angkatan nya lama. Tapi mereka nggak juga punya kehidupan yang mandiri diluar dari kenangan fana mereka tentang kehidupan SMA.

Temen-temen gue itu cowok semua, mereka semua berani, badung lah bisa dibilang. Tapi gue tau, mereka bukan anak-anak yang anarkis. Gue tau, temen-temen cowok gue ini, mereka mau nyetop bullying. Mereka mau yang ngilangin yang namanya 'antar angkatan'. Mereka mau kelas 1-2-3 itu nyatu sebagai satu kesatuan. Tapi sedih nggak sih lo, ngeliat usaha mereka disandung sama campur tangan seseorang yang bahkan udah bukan siswa sekolah lo lagi?

What's even more heart breaking adalah saat semua temen-temen gue ketakutan untuk pulang karena si alumni (dan teman-teman nya) itu nunggu di parkiran sekolah, nggak ada satu pun yang bertindak. Satpam sekolah kayak keilangan authority mereka untuk nyegah siapa aja yang boleh masuk. Saat gue lapor ke 'pihak' yang bersangkutan, dia bahkan nggak berusaha untuk ngusir. Dia malah duduk dan nyuruh temen-temen gue buat nunggu. Honestly, beliau adalah sesosok orang yang sangat gue hormatin, tapi setelah hari ini, kayaknya pandangan gue berubah. Gue bilang tentang alumni nungguin disitu, dia bilang 'sampe dia ngelakuin kekacauan, saya gabisa ngusir'.

Lord, alumni itu jelas bikin kekacauan. Gara-gara mereka temen-temen gue ngga bisa pulang! Jujur, gue sedih ngeliat nya.

Sampe kapan generasi kita diteken untuk ngelakuin hal-hal yang alumni mau? Sampe kapan siswa SMA takut sama alumni? Sampe kapan alumni-alumni itu mau ngegangguin siswa SMA? Gue memang bukan salah satu yang disuruh ini itu sama alumni, tapi gue cukup tau kalo temen-temen yang selama tiga taun belakangan ini ngebantuin gue, mereka yang jadi korbannya.

Mereka disuruh ngambilin kolekan (semacam hasil palak), mereka disuruh tempur lawan sekolah lain, mereka disuruh ini itu... Gue nggak terima temen-temen gue kena bullying. Dan jelas, gue sangat berharap someday, si oknum-oknum ngga bisa move on ini finally bisa untuk move on, lanjutin hidup, kerja, berkeluarga, dan nggak lagi berhubungan sama siswa sekolahnya. Karena mau sampe kapan bullying ini berlanjut?

 I raise my voice, I am against bullying. Please guys, do the same. Dari sekolah mana pun kalian, pasti ada kan kejadian kayak gini? Kalian terima mereka nginjek-nginjek kalian kaya gitu?

Raise your voice!!

Monday, October 10, 2011

Screw You!

So I have a pretty rough day at school today, like seriously rough. The only thing I'm blabbing here is about my school. Well TDF is right. High school IS the place where dreams go to die. ugh, the people from my school really are good at ruining someone's day. I thought today was gonna be okay, but blegh, turned upside down because of one teacher.

It started by my civic midterm exam, I score 60 and I need more score to pass the class. Turned out, I wasn't the only one who scored shit, lots of people are also below mine and I thought something must have been wrong by the way the teacher's teaching. the whole class thought i was right and when the teacher came into my classroom, we were all protesting our score and he gave us a chance to fix our crappy score.

He gave us 4 questions which most of the class couldnt work on, I mean, he never did once teach us about two questions he gave, which sucked! I think he barely even teach us. No, scratch that, he never actually teach! All he does everytime he walks in to classes is getting angry, asking us to pay our books and such.

I protested him in front of my friend, saying that he hasn't told us any shit and I could only did two out of the four he gave. My friend and I decided to just gave him our paper and was planning to say "We could only worked on these two, so were giving it back."

Too bad, before we even speak, he had raised his hand and shooed me and my friend away, saying he wouldn't take my test because what? I protested too much. Ain't that crappy? I was on a rage so I left his class and took my paper with me before arguing to my other teacher, thank God she defended me and my friends.

After the bell rang and his class was over, my other teacher called me to set thing straight, turned out, I'm not just the only one thinking that way. my friends from other class came on my defend when I started giving him my fucking arguments and he lost. He'll give me a try next week, but well, I just lost my respect over him, totally lost it.

I'm not that much of a rebel kid, and that was my first time rebelling against a teacher, but I wasn't the only one, clearly I wasn't wrong, right? I have most of the students' attention and they got my back which I thought was right.

Today sucked as hell, let me tell you. Ugh, if it wasn't for some relaxing tunes from several bands I would've gone nuts back then at the class. Now music has really saved me.


Sunday, July 3, 2011

Is it?

What if then people change?
Those we call best friends
Turn into someone strange
If we ask them to, will they still run?

People has their own happiness, they say.
But what if happiness is just a myth?
When people can no longer trust
When human race are full of envious

No saint walks the earth
No sin is unforgivable
Those we fear walk among us
Loneliness has await for us in the dark

We scream, we shout, we yell, asking for someone
People are walking by, but nobody cares
The light slowly fade off
Every colors are now grey

The remaining question would be
"Am I meant to be alone in all chaos?"

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Confession of a..

If you think this is a confession of a fangirl, I gotta say you're wrong. This is my point of view as a Street Team. Last Saturday, I went to Adrie Subono's house to get my The Downtown Fiction's Presale ticket.

It is no lie that I have been waiting for them since I first knew them. I always thought they would never come here, but by the end of 2010, I know my doubts aren't true. Adrie Subono, the owner of Java Musikindo tweeted that TDF will be coming to Jakarta along with Hey monday and A rocket to the moon next may. But no, that is not the point I want to share.

here is...

During those years since I began promoting the band, I've never even think I will watch them soon, I used to think that they will never come to Jakarta, because it is hard to bring your favorite band here, they're showing not for free, but... I have a little something in me that keeps saying "They will have their show here".

I do not work alone, I have Rya who thinks just the same as I do, and yes, she's the one who keep me from all those stupid things I might have done in the past. I almost quit the team back in 2008 but he told Cameron about that and all Cammie said was "Aww that's a bummer, but I really can't say anything. I don't want to push her or anything, but I do wish she'll stay". Who can resist that kind of words? I chose to stay, and I am glad I decided to.

Ever since that day when Cameron said what he said, and it was around late 2008, I never think to quit. By the middle of 2009, Rya faced her National Exams, God and I knows how that kept her under pressure, but The Downtown Fiction saved her. The following year, which was May 2010, I had my hardest time because of the same problem. National Exams. and at that point, I was not accepted to any school I applied. To be honest, if it wasn't because of their song "where dreams go to die" maybe I have lost my life.

I couldn't thank the boys enough for giving me sweet memories, and I myself can't get over them. I put their songs on repeat every fucking second of my life. I feel like I am a proud mother whenever I searched tweets with "The Downtown Fiction" from TDFIndonesia, and I found bunch of Indonesians tweeted their names. It is a huge satisfaction. Adrie Subono is one of the person who makes my dream comes true. Without him, and everyone else, Rya and I wouldn't get what we wanted to. But now we do, and we do not let the world slips through our grasp.

Just so you know, I will never stop promoting the band, it is a huge honor to do what I do. To be a street team of a band that gets to be known by the whole world. It is such an honor to see people knowing them because of what I do, I couldn't be more proud. Thanks for taking The Downtown Fiction to Jakarta, Adrie Subono. Thanks for everything <333


Friday, January 7, 2011

Truth? Honesty?

Okay, I am terribly bad at the orientation or something you called so. But, errrr, I need to get this off my chest like seriously.

Feeling, expressing, or characterized by envy: "At times he regarded the wounded soldiers in an envious way.... He wished that he, too, had a wound, a red badge of courage" (Stephen Crane). See Synonyms at jealous.

So, that's the word I'm going to talk about. You see, many people talk about envy, envious. They keep putting themselves on edge with the feeling they have inside. I always told myself to never let this feeling rules me, but in the past week, I failed. I envied my friends. Listening to their stories of life.

I know life isn't just about having boy friends or something like that, but when you like a guy, and he seemed just cold to you, plain cold, and even sometimes he talk without thinking about your feeling, you'll feel like you've been ripped off right in your chest. bummed down. I was doing nothing and ended up writing this poem.

Checking through the past
The time line way backward
The one that flies just a little too fast
The times when we didn't feel awkward

Good times were supposed to be memories
But this one that's set on me seemed more to be pain
I'm crash and burn realizing the lies
And every night my tears ran down as rain

If only those days stays forever
The day we were sister and brother
But what happened stayed in their times
What's the point of these aims?

I can only smile and pretend to conquer the world
It's not that hard to just play bold
If this is the edge of you and I
Then leaving will be the thing I can try.


Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Oh hi! 2011. blegh

Have anyone posted their new year resolution yet? well, i haven't and I'm about to do so. Just keep reading, you'll know them if you do. If you're bored already, just take a look at my header :D

I don't have many aims to reach this year, unlike 2010, I have lots of things to reach, but only did reach several. But hey, I can't blame my own cause it wasn't hundred percent my faults anyways.

As for this year, I can only think of few things, but the underlined wish is "Passing 10th grade" and "Meeting The Downtown Fiction". I didn't promote them for nothing, right? I promote them to bring them here, and they are about to! I just can't believe how far have they gone.

They have gone from a McDonald's performer to Warped tour performer! People can't describe how I am amazed by them. I spent too much times on internet, watching them grow big. I wasted moneys on fun stuff but right now I save money for them. How is it possible for three guys in a band changed a whole life of a girl?

I've always been dreaming about going off to a party with some of my favorite girl friends, hanging out with them, goofing around, do the mistakes we will remember for our whole life, the sweetest mistake to never forget. I pray every fucking time so that Vany and Nurin will join the joy of hanging around with them. God knows how much i love them both <3

And about passing the 10th grade... I just have to study and pass. Oh well, 2011 should do it right. Be nice, time. I don't want to regret anything in this year.


Friday, December 17, 2010

How time passed and life change through.

So, my last blog was a long damn time ago. I know I am never a good blogger anyways, and I really need to change that lame layout of mine, dude, I have no idea how to change it. I know, maybe I am the one who's lame. Crap.

I didn't know where to start to catch up all the things that has happened in my life in the past few months. Let's just start it since High School started. My whole life changes when I know I enter a giant black hole, true people, I called my own school a black hole, it sucks me and I am pretty much drained. I know, suck-ish.

July to December, a semester to through, and I feel like I am all fed up with all the dramas, too many kind of dramas I have been watching, and sometimes I took a pretty good role of itself, I am tired with those plastics, God, I just want to have them off my mind a little bit. Kay I lied, I want them off my life for real.

I escaped reality for couple times during the semester, once happened in August 4 2010.
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Creds : Rya Pangestu

The All Time Low's concert. The third concert I attended and turned out to be the most unforgettable one. It was also my first concert without my sister, Ayu and Rya were there though, psst, it was also my first time meeting Vany. I escaped reality for one whole night, even though there was the bitter sweet, still, I escaped.

The second : September 23 2010
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The Jakarta Jam '11. I didn't take good pictures at the gigs, but I did a shot with Forrest from Hello Goodbye <3 it was another bitter sweet moments, remembering what I've struggle days before the gigs. I just got my ticket one day before!

After all those reality escapes, I had to walk my way to school and faced the bitches. Trust me, too many dramas I took a part of, I'm tired man. As if tumblr said, Y U NO GO AWAY HIGH SCHOOL DRAMAS? Right, i spent too much time there. lol

The reality had been treating me awfully until that day, December 4 2010 if I'm not mistaken, Java Musikindo announced that they're pulling The Downtown Fiction to Jakarta. I was just too happy for them, I've known them since they play those private backyard shows, and they just go up on stage singing in big gigs. Who else wouldn't be proud? They must have kidding me right?

Aight then, it's just a little of my mind, I mean come on, I've seen terrible news for Indonesia, and my life, it couldn't be more of a disaster, but why live in miserable while i can have my own shot for the joys? All those escaping-reality-moments, I couldn't ask for better nights, I can't wait till my next-reality-escape-moment, it would be awesome.

TDF was just some indie bands who barely have enough money for a tour, and looking what they have through till where they are right now, I couldn't ask for a better idol or anything, though I had my ups and downs, they're somehow affecting my whole life. All those times and everything, i know I'm blessed. Thank God for everything <333